While I was looking through my cousin’s photographs (she’s a magical wedding photographer, so check out her blog) I remembered something funny from my past. When I was a kid I once clung onto my mom, crying, snot streaming down from my nose, and telling her in a broken voice: “I’m never going to get married! I want to live with you forever!” I was so serious that day. I thought I’d never change my mind. I thought I’d never want to get married. But here I am today believing that the subject of love between a man and woman is one of the most beautiful themes to write about.
Change can be scary.
I find that a lot of change is occurring in my life – perspective wise. I’m having paradigm shifts about myself, life, people, and even writing. This is in part the reason why I’m not updating my blog as often as I should. And this is the reason why I’m unable to even work on my book these days. There’s just too much going on in my head, in reality, for me to break away and drift off into my imaginary world…
One of my favourite quotes on change is from a book I studied at school:
One cannot “cling to ritual” (231), for “things which don’t shift and grow” Betonie declares, “are dead things (116). – Ceremony, by Silko
Life and change – the two can’t be seperated. To fear change, therefore, is to deny life. So while I’m a bit fearful of all the changes that’s occuring in my life (mostly internal), I’m trying my very best to embrace the fact that I’m “growing up”. Yes. Growing up. I can’t live in neverland forever.
Here’s a picture of me back in the days when I thought getting married and leaving my parents was a monstrous idea. My mom, who has an…interesting sense of humour, decided to put me in the wedding gown I told her I’d NEVER EVER EVER wear when I grew up.
hahahhaa you look like Charles in this picture. And! you look utterly dismayed… hahahahaha. i love this. yes, my friend things change… and it keeps on changing…
Hahaha if you saw the original you’d see that I had lipstick on too! Yah, I do look a wee bit like charles teehee
You. Are adorable.
: )
Mwuahaha Thanks : D
Aww, so cute! And yes, I know what you mean by growth and shifts in perspective throughout university. Weddings are definitely awesome and I think anyone who can make that long-term commitment is worth congratulating.
i think this would be an interesting topic to discuss.
Oh you intellectual miss. Yes, the concept of growths and shifts in perspective is definately makes for an interesting topic to discuss. It’s mostly all I think about these days.
June–I was the same way! I thought that the book of the Little House series when Laura got married was so sad! Change continues as long as life does–at least that stays the same
PS ADORABLE picture!
I see I’m not alone haha. There was something about marriage, about leaving the old to join a new family, that totally terrified me. Marriage is a scary word for those in Neverland.
Ah, you’re right! the fact that change and life go hand in hand is indeed one of the aspects of life that stays the same….haha
Such a story! Haha. Reminds me of myself. The only thing constant is change. And change can be a good thing. It’s scary, yes. But it can bring more light into our lives too.
I’m coming to realize this too — that change can bring more light into our lives. For me right now that light is so blinding, because so much change is occuring, but I do know that once I adjust to this light I’ll be like…..wow, life is soooo great
I’m not afraid of marriage. If the change is chosen and accepted, it could only be a good thing.
By the way, I meant to add – you are adorable in this photo and your mom is very funny.
awwww thanks!!!