While I was looking through my cousin’s photographs (she’s a magical wedding photographer, so check out her blog) I remembered something funny from my past. When I was a kid I once clung onto my mom, crying, snot streaming down from my nose, and telling her in a broken voice: “I’m never going to get married! I want to live with you forever!” I was so serious that day. I thought I’d never change my mind. I thought I’d never want to get married. But here I am today believing that the subject of love between a man and woman is one of the most beautiful themes to write about.
Change can be scary.
I find that a lot of change is occurring in my life – perspective wise. I’m having paradigm shifts about myself, life, people, and even writing. This is in part the reason why I’m not updating my blog as often as I should. And this is the reason why I’m unable to even work on my book these days. There’s just too much going on in my head, in reality, for me to break away and drift off into my imaginary world…
One of my favourite quotes on change is from a book I studied at school:
One cannot “cling to ritual” (231), for “things which don’t shift and grow” Betonie declares, “are dead things (116). – Ceremony, by Silko
Life and change – the two can’t be seperated. To fear change, therefore, is to deny life. So while I’m a bit fearful of all the changes that’s occuring in my life (mostly internal), I’m trying my very best to embrace the fact that I’m “growing up”. Yes. Growing up. I can’t live in neverland forever.
Here’s a picture of me back in the days when I thought getting married and leaving my parents was a monstrous idea. My mom, who has an…interesting sense of humour, decided to put me in the wedding gown I told her I’d NEVER EVER EVER wear when I grew up.